Everyone wants to be the life of the party with smart one-liners and quick comebacks.

Yet, most of us fall flat when trying to make Bond-worthy wisecracks, ending up with awkward silences instead of appreciative laughs.

Don’t worry – you won’t need a license to kill to master the art of 007-style humor. These puns will help you shake (not stir) up any social gathering.

In this collection, you’ll find over 127 James Bond puns sorted by categories: villain names, movies, gadgets, and classic Bond phrases.

Plus, we’ll show you exactly when to use them for maximum effect. Get ready to become the secret agent of comedy at your next social event.

General Bond Puns

1. Bond, James Bond – always a “reel” agent.
2. License to pun – 007 is on a roll.
3. He’s the spy who never retires – he’s just Bond to be around.
4. Bond is Bond to make an entrance.
5. Spy the name, Bond!
6. That’s a Bond fire.
7. The name’s Bond – just call me punderful.
8. A Bond is only as strong as its weakest pun.
9. Bond doesn’t joke around.
10. Bond-ing over bad jokes.
11. “Bond-ing” with the enemy.
12. Bond me up, Scotty!
13. That was a Bond fire performance.
14. License to pun – Mission Accomplished.
15. Don’t underestimate Bond – he’s got punch.

Bond Gadgets

16. Bond’s favorite gadget? The punchline.
17. He’s got a punishing attitude.
18. Bond’s new watch? It’s pun-derful.
19. Bond’s spy-der gadgets will leave you in awe.
20. His new car? More like pun-derground transportation.
21. This gadget’s a real Bond fire.
22. Don’t worry, 007 has a pun-chable code.
23. Don’t expect me to penetrate your security.
24. His pen might be mightier than the sword, but can it pun-ish?
25. The Bond phone is always on the line.
26. He shocks with every gadget, literally.
27. Time for a Bond bullet.
28. His gadgets are no smoke and mirrors.
29. Bond’s gadgets have a snap, crackle, and pun.
30. This Bond gadget will zap you with puns.

Bond Villains

31. The villain had a pun-derful plan.
32. His evil plans were always Bond to fail.
33. I’ll cut to the chase, the villain’s a punchline.
34. Blofeld’s purrfectly sinister.
35. Don’t let him get under your skin – he’s a real pun-isher.
36. The villain’s schemes tank-ed at the last minute.
37. No one puns like a Bond villain.
38. His name is Gold… but the pun is in his schemes.
39. He’s shaken, not stirred… just like his evil plans.
40. “You only pun once, Mr. Bond.”
41. Every Bond villain loves a good punction.
42. He’s no goldfinger, but he sure has a pun-ny touch.
43. He’ll leave you melting under pressure, Bond.
44. You can’t pun your way out of this one, Blofeld.
45. Villains can punish with a twist.

Bond Girls

46. She’s the punchline to every Bond’s joke.
47. Her beauty stirred the plot.
48. Bond girls always have punctuation.
49. Bond’s favorite girl? She’s a real gem.
50. She’s the golden girl of Bond.
51. This girl can shake things up.
52. The Bond girl who never stirred a dull moment.
53. Her charms were dangerously punderful.
54. She kisses and puns with style.
55. Bond girls are no puns in the game.
56. She might be a golden opportunity.
57. The Bond girl who never forgets the punchline.
58. A Bond girl’s secret weapon? Her smile.
59. You can’t punish this one with just a kiss.
60. Bond girls know how to throw a punch.

Bond Movies

61. A golden classic – no time to punish.
62. Thunderball of puns, here they come.
63. Skyfall was a pun-derful thrill.
64. Bond is always On Her Majesty’s Secret Pun.
65. The Casino Royale of puns is shaken, not stirred.
66. Quantum of Puns – 007 is loaded!
67. Every Bond movie is just a punch in the gut.
68. Die Another Day – but I’ll be back with more puns!
69. Moonraker takes puns to a new height.
70. The World is Not Enough for Bond’s puns.
71. From Russia With Love, we deliver a pun-derful message.
72. The Spy Who Loved Me… because of my punny charm.
73. Get ready to punder a secret mission.
74. Live and Let Pun – Bond’s ultimate motto.
75. Octopussy will get you laughing too.

Bond Cars

76. Bond’s car is always driveing the puns.
77. I’ll race through this pun-filled chase.
78. Bond’s car runs on punderful technology.
79. You’ll be driven wild with Bond’s car.
80. Bond’s car never skids on puns.
81. The Aston Martin could use a few punctuation marks.
82. Smooth, sleek, and ready to punch it.
83. Bond’s car is always tuned to perfection.
84. Can’t brake this pun—Bond’s got it under control.
85. The car is purrfect for a Bond villain chase.
86. When Bond drives, the puns shift gears.
87. Always shift into overdrive with these puns.
88. You’ll never tire of Bond’s car.
89. Bond’s cars don’t just cruise, they punch.
90. When Bond drives, there’s always traction in the puns.

Bond Locations

91. Bond always lands in exotic punderful places.
92. The punction of Bond’s mission was perfectly executed.
93. Bond’s in a tropical location—pun-derful.
94. The Swiss Alps were full of punctuated beauty.
95. Venice – a city where Bond always punishes.
96. Bond’s adventures always end on a punctual note.
97. In Bond’s world, location is key to the plot.
98. From London to Tokyo – Bond never runs out of puns.
99. Bond jet-sets with more than just a mission.
100. Paris is always a punderful getaway for Bond.
101. The island getaway is always packed with puns.
102. In every Bond city, there’s always room for one more pun.
103. Bond’s travels are just an endless series of punctuations.
104. Every exotic locale means a punderful escape.
105. Bond’s mission always ends with a punny twist.

Bond Drinks

106. Bond’s shaken, not punned.
107. A dry martini isn’t the only thing that’s shaken.
108. Drink this pun as if it’s stirred, not shaken.
109. Vodka Martini – stirred, shaken, and punished.
110. Bond’s drink is never too neat—always punctuated.
111. You can’t sip a Bond drink without a little pun.
112. The pun-chline of every Bond cocktail.
113. Bond’s drink is so strong, it punishes your taste buds.
114. Moscow Mule – the Bond drink with a punny bite.
115. Bond doesn’t just order drinks – he punishes them.
116. Cuba Libre – Bond’s drink is never without a pun.
117. A martini that’ll make you say, “shaken, not stirred—punished.”
118. Bond prefers his drinks pun-derfully chilled.
119. Not just a drink – a pun in every sip.
120. Bond drinks up, because he’s always thirsty for more puns.

Bond Action

121. Mission accomplished – pun never fails.
122. Bond always drops the pun at the right time.
123. The punter is always ready for Bond’s next move.
124. Bond always outsmarts the enemy – one pun at a time.
125. Every Bond move is punctuated by action.
126. You’ll never catch Bond without a plan (or a pun).
127. Every move Bond makes is full of punctual precision.
128. Spy-ing on Bond’s moves is a punishing affair.
129. Bond will punish the villain’s every move.
130. No one runs from Bond—he’s punting his way to victory.
131. Every punch lands with a perfect pun.
132. The punisher never leaves a mission unfinished.
133. The villain can’t keep up—Bond’s always two steps ahead with puns.
134. Bond’s final move is a pun-ishing success.
135. Get ready for a punderful fight scene.

Bond Quotes & Lines

136. “The name’s Bond, punny Bond.”
137. “You can pun or die, Mr. Bond.”
138. “Shaken, not stirred, but always full of puns.”
139. “A pun can be your most dangerous weapon, Mr. Bond.”
140. “Bond… pun and done.”
141. Shaken or stirred, Bond’s always punctual.
142. You can’t escape Bond’s puns—they always close in on you.
143. Bond never misses a chance to punish a bad joke.
144. Bond’s villains? Always punishable.
145. No Bond joke is too tough—he always finds the punchline.
146. The villain’s plans were punctuated with failure.
147. When Bond enters the scene, you know the pun is about to drop.

Conclusion

Now, you’re fully equipped with a complete arsenal of Bond-inspired puns for every occasion. While these witty one-liners won’t help you save the world from villains, they’ll certainly make you the highlight of any social gathering.

Remember, like Bond himself, timing is everything.

Start with a few puns from one category, gauge your audience’s reaction, and adjust accordingly. You might not get it perfect the first time, but practice makes perfect – just ask Q about his prototype testing.

Which Bond pun category appeals to you most? Share your favorite puns and how they worked at your social gatherings in the comments below.

Your fellow agents would love to hear your success stories. Time to put those puns to good use, agent.