Let’s face it: finding genuinely funny animal jokes online can be tricky.

Most collections offer the same tired punchlines or jokes that fall flat. Many people want to share witty animal humor but can’t find a good source.

This compilation of 212 possum jokes fills that gap. From silly wordplay to clever one-liners, this collection covers everything that makes possums perfect comedy material.

The jokes range from family-friendly quips to smart observations about these fascinating creatures.

In this Blog, readers will find carefully chosen possum jokes sorted into easy-to-browse categories.

Each section includes classic favorites and fresh takes on possum humor that will make both kids and adults smile.

Funny Possum Puns with Visuals 

1. What do you call a possum’s self-help book? Playing Dead for Success

2. What do possums use to stay clean? Opos-SOAP

3. What’s a possum’s favorite music? Trash metal

4. Why did the possum fail its driving test? It kept playing dead at stop signs

5. What’s a possum’s favorite TV show? The Walking Dead

6. How do possums send messages? Through trash talk

7. What’s a possum’s favorite game? Hide and sleep

8. Why don’t possums do well in school? They play dead during tests

9. What’s a possum’s favorite social media? Snapchatter

10. What’s a possum’s favorite dessert? Garbage cake

11. How do possums exercise? Dumpster diving

12. What’s a possum’s favorite vacation spot? The Garbage-bean Islands

13. Why was the possum bad at poker? It kept playing dead when it had good cards

14. What’s a possum’s favorite movie? The Great Trash-by

15. Why did the possum get kicked out of the restaurant? It only wanted scraps

16. What’s a possum’s favorite book? The Hunger Bins

17. What do you call a possum’s fancy dinner? Fast food from the finest dumpster

18. Why did the possum become a teacher? It was good at playing dead-ucation

19. What’s a possum’s favorite sport? Trash-ketball

20. Why don’t possums tell jokes? They’re too busy playing dead-pan comedy

21. What’s a possum’s favorite ice cream? Rocky Road-kill

22. How do possums get around? They take the garbage truck

23. What’s a possum’s favorite day? Trash Tuesday

24. Why did the possum become a detective? It was good at playing dead leads

25. What’s a possum’s favorite sandwich? Garbage-made with love

26. Why did the possum quit its job? The benefits package was trash

27. What’s a possum’s favorite band? Trash Mouth

28. How do possums stay warm? They use garbage bags as blankets

29. What’s a possum’s favorite holiday? New Trash Eve

30. Why did the possum win an Oscar? Its playing dead scene was too real

31. What’s a possum’s favorite pizza? Deep trash with extra leftovers

32. How do possums celebrate? They throw a garbage party

33. What’s a possum’s favorite store? The Trash Market

34. Why did the possum become a chef? It loved cooking up trash-terpieces

35. What’s a possum’s favorite subject? Trash-ematics

Other Possum Jokes & Wordplay

Classic Possum Puns you will love

36. Why did the possum sit next to the highway all day?
It was waiting for rush hour to play its best role.

37. What do you call a possum that moonlights as a ghostwriter?
A phantom possum.

38. Why did the possum bring a blanket to the party?
It was always ready to make a dramatic exit.

39. What’s a possum’s favorite movie genre?
Suspense—because it loves keeping people guessing.

40. Why did the possum start a band?
Because it was great at playing dead notes.

41. What’s a possum’s worst fear?
A surprise game of tag.

42. Why don’t possums have alarm clocks?
They wake up whenever the garbage truck arrives.

43. What did the possum say when it won an award?
I’d like to thank the Academy for believing in my method acting.

44. Why did the possum go to the gym?
To improve its grip strength for better tree-hanging.

45. Why do possums make bad babysitters?
They disappear under pressure.

46. What do you call a possum that tells scary stories?
A suspense mammal.

47. What did the possum say after getting caught sneaking into a picnic?
I was just inspecting the snacks for quality control.

48. Why did the possum get fired from its office job?
It kept freezing up during meetings.

49. What’s a possum’s favorite holiday?
April Fool’s Day—it gets to play dead and prank everyone.

50. Why did the possum start a detective agency?
Because it was great at vanishing from crime scenes.

51. What do you call a possum that gives life advice?
A wise possum sage.

52. Why do possums hate bright lights?
It ruins their dramatic exits.

53. Why did the possum refuse to be a magician’s assistant?
Because it was already disappearing too much.

54. What do you call a possum that loves the theater?
A drama possum.

55. Why do possums make terrible basketball players?
They always freeze when the ball comes their way.

56. What’s a possum’s favorite type of weather?
Foggy—so no one can see it sneaking into the trash.

57. Why don’t possums use dating apps?
They always ghost their matches.

58. What did the possum say when accused of playing dead too often?
It’s called self-care.

59. Why do possums make great roommates?
They never steal your food—just the stuff you were about to throw away.

60. Why did the possum start a YouTube channel?
To teach the fine art of avoiding responsibilities.

61. What’s a possum’s favorite board game?
Risk—it plays the long game by pretending to be out early.

62. What do you call a possum that loves extreme sports?
A thrill possum.

63. Why don’t possums write diaries?
Because their most exciting moments involve lying still.

64. What do you call a possum that runs a meditation retreat?
Zen and the Art of Playing Dead.

65. Why did the possum quit stand-up comedy?
It kept pausing too long between jokes.

66. What’s a possum’s favorite way to spend a Saturday night?
Dumpster diving under the stars.

67. What’s a possum’s life motto?
If at first you don’t succeed, lie down and try again.

68. Why do possums make terrible lifeguards?
They assume everyone in the water is fine and just float along with them.

69. What do possums and actors have in common?
A strong commitment to staying in character.

70. Why don’t possums make good fortune tellers?
Because their only prediction is “I foresee myself not moving.”

71. What do you call a possum who loves wordplay?
A pun-ossum.

72. Why did the possum start a conspiracy theory podcast?
Because it always knew how to fake its own disappearance.

73. What do you call a possum that loves classical music?
Beetho-ven.

74. Why do possums avoid public speaking?
Because freezing is their only response to pressure.

75. What’s a possum’s favorite type of humor?
Deadpan delivery.

76. Why did the possum become a motivational speaker?
Because it knew how to teach people the art of avoidance.

77. Why do possums never get stage fright?
Because they were born knowing how to fake a flawless exit.

78. Why don’t possums need alarm clocks?
They wake up when the trash can lid rattles.

79. What do you call a possum who writes poetry?
Edgar Allan Paws.

80. What’s a possum’s favorite late-night snack?
Whatever’s left in the garbage from dinner.

81. Why do possums never RSVP to parties?
Because they prefer to show up unannounced near the back door.

82. What do you call a possum who starts a fashion brand?
Trash Couture.

83. Why did the possum fail driving school?
It froze every time it saw headlights.

84. What’s a possum’s favorite Shakespeare quote?
To play or not to play… dead.

85. Why do possums love old movies?
Because black-and-white films make their dramatic exits look more artistic.

86. What’s a possum’s favorite game?
Freeze tag—except they never unfreeze.

87. What do you call a possum who moonlights as a detective?
Sherlock Possums.

88. Why do possums make terrible waiters?
They disappear as soon as you need something.

89. Why did the possum bring a yoga mat to work?
Because it wanted to practice the corpse pose full-time.

90. What do you call a possum who loves literature?
A book possum.

91. Why do possums love libraries?
Because they’re the only place where being still and quiet is encouraged.

92. Why don’t possums ever go on roller coasters?
Because they black out way too early.

93. Why did the possum start a travel blog?
Because it knew how to disappear anywhere.

94. What’s a possum’s biggest pet peeve?
People mistaking them for oversized rats.

95. Why do possums love rainy days?
Because it keeps the garbage fresher for longer.

96. What’s a possum’s life goal?
To be the best at doing nothing.

97. Why do possums love reality TV?
Because dramatic exits are their specialty.

98. What do you call a possum who writes horror novels?
Stephen Freeze.

99. Why did the possum refuse to join a band?
Because it only knows one note—silence.

100. Why don’t possums have backup plans?
Because playing dead works every time.

101. What’s a possum’s idea of a five-star restaurant?
A freshly knocked-over trash can.

102. Why do possums make terrible doctors?
Because their only advice is to stop moving and wait it out.

103. What’s a possum’s favorite type of humor?
Anything with a killer punchline.

104. Why did the possum join a mime troupe?
Because it was already a master of silence.

105. Why do possums hate fitness trainers?
Because they tell them to stop lying around all day.

106. What do you call a possum who becomes a detective?
A missing person expert.

107. Why don’t possums like New Year’s resolutions?
Because they’ve already perfected the art of doing nothing.

108. What’s a possum’s biggest regret?
Not playing dead sooner when asked about taxes.

109. Why did the possum become a philosopher?
Because it spent so much time contemplating its own existence.

110. What do you call a possum in a courtroom?
A master of the silent defense.

111. Why don’t possums need life insurance?
Because they get free trial runs every time they cross the road.

112. Why did the possum refuse to move into an apartment?
Because dumpsters are all-inclusive.

113. What’s a possum’s dream job?
A security guard that never actually has to chase anyone.

114. What do you call a possum who can juggle?
A rare species.

115. Why don’t possums make good waiters?
Because they disappear the moment you need them.

116. Why did the possum get fired from the grocery store?
It kept raiding the expired food bin.

117. What’s a possum’s least favorite car feature?
Headlights.

118. What do you call a possum who wins the lottery?
A trash-to-riches story.

119. Why do possums love jazz?
Because they’re all about improvisation.

120. What do possums and Wi-Fi have in common?
They both disappear right when you need them most.

121. What’s a possum’s go-to move in a fight?
The dramatic collapse.

122. Why don’t possums have to worry about work deadlines?
Because freezing under pressure is expected.

123. What do you call a possum in a group project?
The silent contributor.

124. Why did the possum start a bakery?
Because it was already skilled at rolling over.

125. What’s a possum’s favorite video game?
Anything with respawn mode.

126. Why did the possum become a taxi driver?
Because it knew all the best back-alley trash cans.

127. What’s a possum’s favorite romantic gesture?
Pretending not to exist for dramatic effect.

128. Why do possums avoid selfies?
Because they always look lifeless in pictures.

129. What do you call a possum who wins an Olympic medal?
A gold possum-ist.

130. Why did the possum get kicked out of the magic show?
Because it kept upstaging the disappearing act.

131. What do possums and introverts have in common?
Both shut down completely when confronted.

132. Why did the possum start a motivational seminar?
Because it knew all about staying calm under pressure.

133. What do you call a possum who refuses to play dead?
A rebel.

134. Why do possums make great spies?
Because no one suspects the one lying motionless.

135. What’s a possum’s favorite bedtime story?
Anything with a long, dramatic pause.

136. Why do possums hate haunted houses?
Because they don’t like competing with the ghosts.

137. What’s a possum’s idea of a vacation?
A new neighborhood trash pile.

138. Why do possums always survive zombie movies?
Because they already look like one of them.

139. What do you call a possum who loves to party?
A social possum.

140. Why did the possum turn down a role in a horror movie?
Because it didn’t want to be typecast.

141. What do possums do on their day off?
The same thing they do every day—absolutely nothing.

142. Why don’t possums have therapists?
Because their coping mechanism is flawless.

143. Why did the possum start a prank YouTube channel?
Because it was already an expert at fake reactions.

144. What’s a possum’s favorite board game?
Clue—because they always disappear first.

145. Why did the possum apply for a lifeguard job?
It wanted to show off its floating skills.

146. Why don’t possums have stage fright?
Because freezing in place is their natural talent.

147. Why did the possum start a blog?
Because it wanted to share its tips on playing dead effectively.

148. What’s a possum’s favorite bedtime routine?
Lying motionless and pretending responsibilities don’t exist.

149. Why did the possum refuse to join a circus?
Because it didn’t want to upstage the acrobats.

150. Why do possums never get in trouble?
Because they’re too good at disappearing.

151. Why do possums love stargazing?
Because it’s the perfect excuse to lie motionless for hours.

152. What’s a possum’s least favorite chore?
Anything that requires movement.

153. Why do possums love urban areas?
Because the dumpsters have better cuisine.

154. What’s a possum’s best strategy in an argument?
Playing dead until the other person leaves.

155. Why don’t possums go to concerts?
Because they prefer silent performances.

Love & Relationships Possum Puns for Gen-Z

156. Why did the possum break up with its partner?
Because they weren’t on the same freeze-quency.

157. What’s a possum’s idea of a romantic date?
A candlelit dinner behind the local diner’s dumpster.

158. Why don’t possums do long-distance relationships?
Because they prefer to stay close to trash.

159. What do you call a possum’s love language?
Silent treatment with a hint of ghosting.

160. How do possums flirt?
They pretend they don’t exist until you notice them.

161. Why do possums never argue in relationships?
Because one just shuts down and the fight is over.

162. What’s a possum’s idea of commitment?
Holding on for dear life—literally.

163. What do you call two possums in love?
A clingy relationship.

164. Why don’t possums do online dating?
Because they can’t swipe if they’re frozen in fear.

165. What’s a possum’s idea of a perfect wedding?
A low-key backyard ceremony—preferably near a trash can.

Possum Puns for Rat Race at Work

166. Why did the possum get fired from its office job?
Because every time the boss walked by, it played dead.

167. Why don’t possums like deadlines?
Because they already have enough pressure making them freeze.

168. What’s a possum’s response to an overwhelming workload?
Going completely motionless until the problem disappears.

169. Why do possums hate Monday meetings?
Because they prefer not to be present.

170. Why do possums avoid networking events?
Because social interaction is too much pressure.

171. What’s a possum’s dream job?
Night security guard—because they already lurk in the dark.

172. Why did the possum avoid promotions?
Because more responsibility means less time lying still.

173. How do possums survive layoffs?
By playing dead until everyone forgets they work there.

174. Why do possums thrive in the corporate world?
Because their ability to vanish under stress is unmatched.

175. Why do possums never respond to emails?
Because they assume every message is a threat.

Possum Jokes for Food Lovers

176. What’s a possum’s idea of fine dining?
Anything that fell off the back of a restaurant.

177. Why did the possum refuse to eat at a five-star restaurant?
Because it was too clean for its taste.

178. What’s a possum’s favorite meal?
Leftovers—preferably someone else’s.

179. What do you call a possum at a buffet?
A waste management specialist.

180. Why don’t possums cook at home?
Because their kitchen is outside.

181. What’s a possum’s favorite type of cuisine?
Anything served in a garbage bag.

182. Why did the possum go on a diet?
Because the raccoons were judging it.

183. What’s a possum’s guilty pleasure snack?
That mystery item at the bottom of the trash can.

184. Why do possums avoid food delivery?
Because the best meals are already waiting outside.

185. What do possums and food critics have in common?
A deep appreciation for free meals.

Other Popular Possum Jokes and Puns

186. What’s a possum’s favorite superhero?
Batman—because they both love the night.

187. What’s a possum’s favorite horror movie?
The Sixth Sense—because they, too, see dead things (themselves).

188. What’s a possum’s favorite musical?
Les Misérables—because playing dead is practically a theme.

189. Why don’t possums play video games?
Because their only move is standing still.

190. What’s a possum’s favorite action movie?
Die Hard—because they fake it better than Bruce Willis.

191. Why did the possum audition for Broadway?
Because its dramatic collapses deserve an audience.

192. What’s a possum’s least favorite movie?
Fast & Furious—because moving quickly isn’t their thing.

193. What do possums and method actors have in common?
They never break character.

194. What’s a possum’s favorite sport?
Freeze tag—because they never lose.

195. What’s a possum’s karaoke song of choice?
“Stayin’ Alive”—ironically.

196. What’s a possum’s biggest life lesson?
When in doubt, lie low and let things pass.

197. Why do possums never worry about the future?
Because staying in the moment is their natural talent.

198. What’s a possum’s secret to a stress-free life?
If things get too intense, just disappear.

199. What do possums teach us about self-care?
Sometimes, you just have to pretend you don’t exist.

200. Why do possums make great philosophers?
Because they spend a lot of time in deep reflection—motionless.

201. What’s a possum’s approach to problem-solving?
Wait until the problem forgets about you.

202. Why don’t possums believe in multitasking?
Because one thing at a time—preferably nothing.

203. What do possums and wise old men have in common?
A deep appreciation for stillness.

204. Why do possums never panic?
Because they’ve already shut down emotionally.

205. What do possums and meditation gurus have in common?
They master the art of being still.

206. Why are possums bad at surprise parties?
Because they’re the ones who drop first.

207. What’s a possum’s signature dance move?
The sudden collapse.

208. Why do possums make great yoga instructors?
Because they’re already experts in corpse pose.

209. Why do possums never lose staring contests?
Because they literally don’t blink when threatened.

210. What’s a possum’s idea of a perfect evening?
A quiet night in the trash with no responsibilities.

211. Why do possums never make impulse decisions?
Because they freeze long enough to think everything through.

212. What’s a possum’s advice for dealing with stress?
If life gets overwhelming, just pretend you’re not there.

Keeping It Punny: When to Hit Pause on Your Pun Game 

Not every moment calls for a pun. Here’s when to keep those wordplays in your pocket:

• During serious discussions about loss, grief, or personal struggles – your pun might come across as insensitive
• At formal business meetings or professional presentations where credibility is key
• When someone is expressing strong emotions like anger or frustration
• In emergency situations or when quick, clear communication is needed
• While writing content about sensitive topics like health issues or accidents
• During important ceremonies or traditional events that demand respect
• When explaining complex technical information that needs precise clarity
• In situations where cultural or language barriers might cause misunderstandings

Remember: Good humor is all about timing. Sometimes, staying straightforward is the smartest move you can make.

Time to Pun It Up: Perfect Moments to Drop Your Wordplay 

Looking to flex those pun muscles? Here’s when your wordplay will shine brightest:

• In casual social media posts where your audience expects light, fun content
• During ice-breaker sessions or team-building activities at work
• In marketing content for products or services targeting young audiences
• While writing greeting cards or personal messages to friends
• In blog posts about light topics like hobbies, entertainment, or food
• During casual group chats or friendly text conversations
• When creating content for children’s activities or educational materials

Final Thoughts

Possum puns add a playful twist to everyday humor, making even simple moments more entertaining. From clever wordplay to silly jokes, these 212 puns show why possums make perfect comedy material.

They’re simple enough for kids to enjoy yet smart enough to make adults smile.

Want to keep the pun party going? Check out our other animal-themed collections: “200 Goose Puns That’ll Have You Honking with Laughter,” “175 Door Puns That’ll Leave You Hinged with Joy” “150 Thank You Puns to Show Your Gratitude with Humor”

Remember, the best pun is one that brings smiles to faces. So go ahead, share these possum puns with friends and family – just don’t blame us if they play dead to avoid hearing more!

Frequently Asked Questions

What Do You Call A Group Of Possums?

A group of possums is called a passel. You might also hear people say “a family of possums,” but passel is the official term.

What Is The Awesome Possum Phrase?

“Awesome Possum” is a friendly saying used to show excitement or praise. It became popular because it rhymes and sounds fun to say.

What Is A Possum In Slang?

In slang, “playing possum” means pretending to be asleep or dead to avoid a situation. People also use “possum” to describe someone who likes to stay up late or scavenge for food.

What Is The Nickname Of The Opossum?

Common nicknames for opossums include “trash cat,” “trash panda junior,” and just “possum.” In Australia, they’re often called “possie” or “poss” for short.